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To test or not to test?

2007-11-06 / 10:22 a.m.

Yesterday was not such a good day. I don't know what my problem is. I am highly irritated and annoyed with everything and everyone. There are a couple possible reasons for my moodiness:
1) Both my dad and aunt called yesterday. While I love them both, I am not a huge phone person. It drains me. I talked to each of them for about an hour. I don't know why, but it takes a lot out of me.
2) The holidays are coming up WAY to fast for me and I am starting to feel a little panicky. Mostly because the thought of being around my family puts me into a bad mood. That's why we are spending Thanksgiving with Beth and her family.
3) I have no gift ideas for anyone and Dan has already started on me about how tight money is, blah blah blah. I never go crazy with gifts and feel like his lecture is unwarranted. We got into a fight last night because the girls are in an exchange with their cousins (on his side) and the limit is $20-25 and he only wants to spend $15, and even mentioned not doing it at all. I hate how that makes us look to the rest of the family.
4) I'm totally hormonal. I was having normal periods for several months in a row. But now I am weeks late. Which usually isn't a big deal for me. I don't feel pregnant, but I didnt' with either of the girls. I did get a little nervous when all I wanted to eat from the girl's halloween candy was the fruity stuff - what? I'm a chocolate girl - except when I was pregnant with Bg2 - remember the Jelly Belly phase?! Dan bought me a test last night, but I didn't take it this morning. Part of me doesn't want to know. We are still not sure about a third child. I'm more on the yes side, but Dan is definately on the no side right now. So if I am, I don't want to tell him. I know he would be fine and happy, but still. Also, I have a terrible history with taking preg. tests. They are almost never accurate and I am always second guessing the neg. results. Plus, yesterday, I got the chin zit. I almost always get the chin zit before I start. So honestly, I really truly don't think I am. But who knows? I can't ever read my body - which adds to my frustrated mood.

I was not nice to be around last night. I holed myself up in the bedroom. I know Dan hates when I disconnect like that, but sometimes it's all I can do. I just need to be alone. He did the dinner dishes and took care of the kids while I sulked and pouted.

Today is not much better, other than my headache is gone. The girls have yet to adjust to the time change and they are a mess. Their sleeping has been thrown off and as a result they are constantly needy, fussy and getting into trouble. I'm still in my pajamas - with no plans of getting out of them any time soon. Bg2 is crying and has been for most of the morning. These are the times I wish my mom was my mom again. I could call her, she would come over and I could escape for a while.

Better go deal with the crying - again! Sorry I'm a bummer right now.

K

crawling * walking

Do people still say "Tuckered out"? - 2007-11-15