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Round and round we go!

2007-11-07 / 12:38 p.m.

So what I thought would turn out to be a better night - was NOT! It was Terrible with a capital T. After I posted yesterday I decided to get my butt in gear and snap out of it. I got dressed, did 4 loads of laundry, picked up the house, etc. I was determined to snap out of my mood. I begged Dan to let us go out to eat since we had to get Bg2 some shoes anyways. We grabbed something cheap, and headed to 4 stores looking for some shoes that would fit Bg2.

When we got home, we started talking about Christmas presents, which turned into a discussion about money, which turned into an argument, which turned into me leaving and driving away - leaving the girls with Dan. I ran away for a few hours to calm down and think things through. I tried to go to Beth's, but she was out with her brother. I sat on her doorstep for over an hour and decided to take off (honestly, I was cold and my butt was numb). I went and walked around a store for a while, still not wanting to go home. Beth called and I sat in my car, and talked to her for a long time. I drove around some more, before I decided it was time to face the music. By the time I got home, the girls were in bed and Dan and I had calmed down enough to try to talk. I feel like I have been through 10 rounds of a boxing fight. I'm exhausted. By 12:00 I was in bed, but still don't know that I got all of my points across that I wanted to. I'm extremely depressed today and wishing I could just crawl back in bed.

For some unknown reason, I was wide awake at 5:00 am. I got up and took that damn pregnancy test (negative - which is what I thought it would be) and got back in bed to read for a while. Bg1 crawled into bed with me a little while later and we cuddled under the blankets and talked for a while - just what I needed. That girl can say the cutest things. She can always make me feel better - I just tend to forget that when she is acting her typical "3 year old"ish self.

Once we were up and moving, it was off to Martha's. I needed to take her to the doctors and the girls stayed and played with their cousin. I dropped off mom, picked up the girls and made my way home. They both fell asleep in the car on the way home, and now I am off to try to do the same thing - lay down and nap for a while.

I hate that glumey feeling when you don't feel like everything has been resolved and you are upset about things that were said. I hate fighting. We don't do it often, but when we do, it usually takes me a couple of days to recover.

K

crawling * walking

Curse you Monday! - 2007-11-26