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My babies are growing up

2008-01-04 / 8:19 a.m.

I'm having a super hard time with the fact that my girls are growing up. I know it's stupid to be upset about something you can't change, and knew would happen, it's just hitting me hard right now.

Bg1 turned 4 the other day! 4!!! She was just a baby yesterday. She is always doing or saying things that make me realize how smart she is. She is super independent, very serious (most of the time), knows how she wants things to be, likes to use her imagination and desperately wants to be the boss of everything.

Bg2 is not a baby anymore, although I still think of her as a baby. She is so little that I sometimes forget that she is going to be 2 in April. Last night was her first night in the toddler bed. I almost cried at the fact that she is not in the crib anymore. Bg1 was this age when she went into the bed, but she seemed like such a big girl to me. Plus, I was 6 months pregnant at the time and we wanted to get her out of the crib in time for the Bg2. Bg2 still seems like such a baby. I'm having a hard time putting all the baby stuff away. First it was the high chair, now we are thinking of taking the changing table out to make more room and if Bg2 is done with the crib - that will go too. It's all just too much for me.

The problem we are having right now is where to put Bg1 to sleep. For the past couple of months she has been sleeping on the floor. She just likes it. It makes me feel like a terrible mother to admit that she sleeps on the floor, but honestly I know I am not. She started getting out of bed to sleep on the floor a couple of months ago. Right about the time she stopped pulling her hair, so I thought I would just let it go and let her do whatever helped with the hair pulling. She seems fine and it isn't harming her. But now that Bg2 is going into Bg1's bed, I'm afraid Bg1 will want something and I don't have anything to offer her right now. Their room is super small, so bringing in a bed is posing some challenges for us. We'll get it figured out, it's just overwhelming me for some reason.

The day before yesterday I took out 2 huge storage bins of clothes, that don't fit them anymore, from their closet and drawers. Plus a garbage bag full of clothes to go to Good Will. Then I packed up two boxes of toys they don't play with anymore and another garbage bag of toys for Good Will. You would think with taking all of that out of their room that I would have a ton more space, but it seems just as crowded.

We are expecting a big rain storm this weekend and I'm super excited. I actually thought it was supposed to already be raining, but it's not. We went out last night to do some shopping and stock up for the weekend so we don't have to go out much. I also did some more exchanging of Christmas presents yesterday. We are almost done. We have to make one trip to the mall and then we will be done. I swear we are returning/exchanging almost everything my family gave us. I SO wish they would just give us gift cards or ask us what we want for Christmas. I've been able to get the girls a lot of clothes with the things that we took back. I also got myself a new lamp for the living room with the money I got from taking back things my sister-in-law got me.

There is a ton of laundry piling up, so that is my project for today. I will also try some rearranging of furniture in the girls room to see if I can find a solution to our sleeping problem.

Hope you are having a good day.

K

crawling * walking

Random thoughts - 2008-01-16