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Numbness

2008-07-19 / 7:29 p.m.

I don't even know how my fingers are typing this right now. I am numb. Literally numb. I go back and forth from sobbing to sitting and staring at the wall in disbelief. I got a call from Stephanie, one of my best friends (the one in AZ with 4 kids), at 12:30 this afternoon. She was crying hysterically and asking me to pray for her dad. She was on her way to the hospital. They thought he had a heart attack, but they were able to get him breathing again. I, of course was totally distraught, but spent all afternoon praying for him and his family. I emailed everyone I knew that would pray for them as well. Hours went by. I waited and waited and wanted to call her back to find out what was going on, but didn't want to intrude. I kept thinking, he'll be okay and they are probably just making sure he is all set up in the hospital. At 5:19 my phone rang and her number came up. I felt a moment of relief that she was calling me back, but I wasn't prepared to hear her words, "Kim, he died." That's when the numbness set in. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. This incredible man was gone. My heart literally aches for my friend and her family. She was so beside herself that all she could do was cry. She asked me to call another friend of ours to tell her and to pray for her mom. She couldn't talk more and had to go in her house and tell her 4 young children that their grandpa was gone. Even as I type this, it doesn't seem real. He was incredibly kind, giving, active and seemed to be in great health. It doesn't seem possible. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him and his family all day. I can remember driving home with Steph, during college, and literally feeling like I was a part of their family. I told Dan that I am going to AZ. For how long, or when is yet to be determined, but all I want to do is get in my car and drive to my friend. I haven't felt this sad in a very long time.

crawling * walking

Just a barrel of sunshine. - 2008-08-13